Wednesday, September 3, 2008


I've always thought of myself as a sensitive person. I always thought that my feelings could be too easily hurt, or that I always took great care when it came to the feelings of others. Apparently this is not the case, and I am a much large jerk than I could have imagined. How crazy.

But, let's be honest and look from my perspective, because what other reason could you have to read this other than to see what I think? I believe that some people must just be, for lack of a more sophisticated term, "babies." Seriously, when did things get so serious? I know that I'm apathetic when it comes to most stuff, but I'm seriously concerned about how serious some people take such "serious" matters as have been defined by several serious conversations earlier this day. Maybe I am a jerk because I do not care as much.

That's another thing. I'll tell people I don't care when what I really mean is "I don't care about this nearly as much as you obviously do and I seriously wonder why we're even having this conversation as it is a waste of time, effort, breath, and so many other contributing factors." But of course, when you mention that this is what you really mean, it comes off far worse than "I don't care," so I'll stick with the latter. It's not that I don't care; I don't care as much as you do.

That in itself seems rude, too, doesn't it? The fact that I don't care about something someone else obviously cares a lot about is rude, right? Well, depending the person and the situation that we're in -- I don't care.

Maybe time has shaped me differently on the inside in the past years. I just feel like there are more important matters at hand and that by spending more time on whatever subject just causes the more important matters to slip further away and therefore let the stuff I don't care about win! And we can't have that!

Seriously. Don't be afraid to approach me about a subject. I'll listen, even if I don't care. I'll talk about it, even if I don't care. There's just a certain limit and certain actions you have to take that lets me go down the path of me blowing up in your face all the while saying "I don't care!" To be honest, the only person to have successfully done the above is Kristi Manning. Hat's off to ya. Nothing against her, and nothing she doesn't already know, it's just that she knows how to push my buttons on a comparable scale with my mom. Wow.

So yeah. You know you've made me angry when I say "I don't care!" It's at that point in the conversation when I'm just trying to end it so the person will go away. Why? Cause I'm a selfish being. I've lost track of what I was trying to say at the beginning of this.

Some people are too sensitive. Grow a spine. Everyone can be courageous and speak up if they work at it. Do not let every little thing that happens in the world get you down. There is more to life than the present.

1 comment:

Kristi said...

Phil. 2:3

I love the shout out!
If you lived with Caleb, I'd be there a lot. How fun for you! =)